Stinking Thinking for Kids: How Class Practices Handling Hard Thoughts

Short answer: Stinking Thinking is the lesson Karen Boyer is teaching Future Tiger (ages 3–6) and Tiger Kids (ages 7–12) this October. Stinking thinking for kids means a thought that is unkind or untrue, like "I can't" or "Everyone is better than me." Kids practice saying the thought out loud, then picking a next move: try again, ask for help, or use kind words. It's class practice, not counseling.

What is stinking thinking?

Every kid has hard thoughts. A kick misses, and a voice inside says, "I always mess up."

Child Mind Institute says that kids saying harsh things about themselves now and then is natural and, on its own, not a cause for concern. Its experts also say not to brush those comments off.

In class, a stinky thought is one that is unkind or untrue. The thought is stinky. The kid never is.

What does stinking thinking for kids look like in class?

Stinking Thinking comes up in the class discussion. Karen brings it in at the start or the end of class, depending on how the students are working that day. It doesn't replace the skills or the games.

The idea stays the same for every age:

Notice the thought. A thought isn't a fact.
Say it. Kids say it out loud to a coach or a partner.
Pick a next move. Try again, ask for help, or use kind words.

The two age groups do it slightly differently, but it's the same in spirit.

Future Tiger (ages 3 to 6)

The example thoughts are simple: "I can't." "I'm bad at this."

Coach cue: "Uh-oh, was that a stinky thought?"
Kind words: "I'm still learning."
Hand signal: hold your nose for a stinky thought, then thumbs up for the next try.
Response: "Stinky thought? Say it. Try again."

Tiger Kids (ages 7 to 12)

Older kids add a quick check on the thought itself. Their example thoughts: "I always mess up." "I'll never get my belt." "Everyone is better than me."

Coach cue: "Catch it. Is it kind? Is it true?"
Partner reply: "Thanks for telling me. What's your next move?"
Kind words: "I missed that one. Next rep."
Response: "Catch it. Say it. Pick my next move."

The kind words aren't cheering or bragging. They're honest: you missed, and you get another try. That matches Child Mind Institute advice, which warns against overly rosy "positive thinking" and suggests realistic words instead.

How do parents hear about it?

Every class has a take-home handout. That's how parents get the lesson: you see what your child practiced and can use the same words at home.

What can I do at home?

These ideas come from pediatric and child health groups, not from class:

Listen first. If your child says "I'm bad at this," don't rush to wave it off.
Name the feeling. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) suggests saying what you feel, like "I'm really frustrated right now," instead of something critical or hurtful.
Keep it realistic. "That one was hard. You can try again" works better than "You're the best!"
Catch your own. Burned dinner and said "I'm a terrible cook"? Correct it out loud, more fairly. Child Mind Institute suggests letting kids hear you do this.
Notice good tries. The AAP suggests praising good tries, not only success.

If harsh self-talk keeps happening, affects school or friends, or comes with changes in sleep, eating, or mood, Child Mind Institute says to look for professional help. The AAP suggests talking with your child's pediatrician.

What don't we promise?

We haven't found a study that tested a lesson like this in a kids kung fu class. So we don't promise that Stinking Thinking will change how your child feels or performs. We can tell you what kids practice: noticing a hard thought, saying it, and picking a next move.

For what each age group practices, see What Do Kids Learn in Future Tiger (Ages 3–6) Versus Tiger Kids (Ages 7–12)?

Where are classes, and how do I ask?

Classes meet at partner sites across the Akron area. Future Tiger Kids is for ages 3–6, daytime, at RiverTree Christian School, Growing Places Preschool, and St. Luke's Church Youth Building. Tiger Kids is for ages 7–12, afterschool, at St. Luke's Church Youth Building, St. Francis de Sales, and partner school sites.

Have a question about Stinking Thinking or class? Email karen@victorydefensesystems.com with your child's age, the location you're considering, and what's on your mind.

Sources

American Academy of Pediatrics. (Updated 2022, October 27). Signs of low self-esteem in children & teens. HealthyChildren.org. Adapted from Caring for Your School-Age Child: Ages 5 to 12. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/gradeschool/Pages/Signs-of-Low-Self-Esteem.aspx

American Academy of Pediatrics. Healthy mental & emotional development: 4 key building blocks. HealthyChildren.org. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/emotional-wellness/Building-Resilience/Pages/healthy-mental-and-emotional-development-in-children-key-building-blocks.aspx

Child Mind Institute. (Last reviewed 2026, May 6). How to help kids who are too hard on themselves (clinical expert Rachel Busman, PsyD). https://childmind.org/article/how-to-help-kids-who-are-too-hard-on-themselves/